In an attempt to remodel campus transportation, Westminster’s head of school Ceith Ivans has unveiled Phase 5 of the school’s Master Plan: a state-of-the-art gondola system connecting Turner Gym to the parking deck. The announcement, made in an all-school email early this morning, has sparked excitement among students and faculty.
The gondola system, named the Cat Cab, aims to alleviate congestion on the quad while providing students with a scenic aerial route across campus. According to the proposal, the system will consist of a series of enclosed, climate-controlled gondola cabins capable of transporting up to eight passengers at a time. Each cabin will feature Wi-Fi and custom cup holders for student’s morning Barge coffees.
“This project reflects Westminster’s commitment to innovation and sustainability,” Ivans stated in his email. “By embracing this forward-thinking transportation model, we not only reduce foot traffic but also give people a chance to enjoy a bird’s-eye view of our beautiful campus.”
Preliminary plans indicate that the gondola line will begin near Turner Gymnasium, making a brief stop at Askew Hall before the final docking station at the parking deck. Engineers estimate a total ride time of approximately two minutes, providing students with an efficient alternative to the uphill trek many dread.
“It’s like Disney World meets Westminster,” remarked one junior, Reburt Sah, after hearing the news.
The announcement has sparked mixed reactions from the student body, with many expressing excitement. “Finally, I don’t have to walk across Spatio and be scared of getting hit with a dodgeball,” said freshman Karson Deets.
Others, however, are more skeptical, raising concerns that the money spent on the gondola could’ve been used for other projects. “Do we really need a gondola, or would it be better to have a gaming console in Bawk!” said senior Anguni Nadu.
Construction is slated to begin next semester, with completion expected by 2027. Until then, students will unfortunately have to continue navigating the campus on foot.
