In a dramatic yet unsurprising turn of events, the Westminster board of trustees have decided to vest executive power of the school not in one of the many candidates, but instead in the student body. Starting in 2026, following the retirement of beloved president Keith Evans, who has been in office since 2014, the Presidential Fellows, yet another application-based Upper School student leadership program, will have full executive control over all decisions regarding the school. These responsibilities span a wide variety of tasks, including budgeting, teaching Evans’s entrepreneurship JanTerm, writing back-to-school letters, and deciding whether or not the panini press will remain in Brewer Café.
The title also comes with many perks. For example, all Presidential Fellows will be able to live in on-campus housing and will each get an equal portion of the current president’s salary. The fellows will also receive keys to the illustrious Westminster golf carts and be free to roam around in them.
In response to this drastic change, Westminster students and teachers alike have expressed varying reactions.
“I simply don’t trust my peers to take on such a monumental task,” said The Hij, a current junior. “You mean to tell me that the same people who sit in Hawkins and doomscroll Instagram Reels are going to be running the school? We’re cooked! How will this school function when a bunch of screenagers are making the important decisions?” However, while off-camera, Hij mentioned that he would be applying to be a fellow, largely due to the golf carts.
Others, like Enjiang Peng, instead view this as an opportunity to carry out their vision of what the school should be.
“Mark my words, I will be applying to be a Presidential Fellow next year,” said Peng. “Imagine what I could do with all that power; I could fund the Science Olympiad Team, order construction of a ski lift from Turner to Barge, or let juniors park at the deck!”
Aside from the students, many teachers have expressed their concern over the new leadership.
“So often I have students coming to me complaining about their grades,” lamented Chucky Cheeze, an Upper School math teacher, “but now that my students hold essentially unchecked executive power to fire me, I’ve started fearing for my job. Are you seriously telling me that the next time my teaching performance is evaluated, it’s going to be done by a 17-year-old kid? I am seriously considering working at Lovett.”
Even outside of the Westminster community, people have expressed their opinions on these new changes.
“Ts so funny lol,” commented Instagram user pace_knight. “I know we always say we’re better than Westy, but now that might actually be true”.
With these new changes in place, the future of Westminster is now shrouded in mystery. One can only speculate at what the new leadership system will look like and shudder at the many possibilities that lie in the impending future.
