Detroit Lions Game. NBA All-Star Halftime Show. Rolling Loud.
Next up on hit rapper GELO’s list of accomplishments is Westminster’s commencement, where we received word that he will be delivering an inspiring address by performing his hit song “Tweaker” to the class of 2025 as a worthy precursor to President Avans taking the podium for his final speech. The moment is being framed as a symbolic handoff.
“Ima swerve bend that corner woahhhh,” said President Avans. “I may be retiring but I’m not missing out on a chance to share the stage with one of the best rappers of all time.”
The limited-edition Big Baller Brand x Westminster “Graduations” shoe, not to be confused with the album, will reportedly drop during the performance only available via the QR code hidden under graduates’ chairs. According to sources close to the Ball family, the shoe will have about 6 to 7 styles you can choose from with a built-in speaker that plays his new single “Can You Please” every time you walk across a stage.
Seniors are already coordinating their graduation outfits, with Senior LaGreatness allegedly spending three weeks designing a custom cap featuring GELO’s G League team Greensboro Swarm and a pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses.
“I’ve never had so many people come up to me asking for designs before,” said graphics design teacher Richael Meese. “One student asked me to animate their 6.7 GPA rising into the clouds with GELO riding it like a jet ski. I told them, ‘That’s not how Adobe Illustrator works,’ and they said, ‘Bet.’”
Rumor has it that beyond just performing his hit song and new single, GELO plans to give students a preview of his new song “Floater” featuring Westminster’s own English teacher Trandon Bhomas and his father Lavar Ball, who is also making an appearance at the ceremony.
Insiders also report that LaVar tried to rebrand the graduation program as the “BBB Degree Ceremony,” claiming that “Big Baller Brand stands for academic excellence now, too.”
When asked for a quote, LaVar told the press: “Neva lost. Neva late. Neva walked across a stage without bringing the energy. And after this, Westminster will neva be the same.”
