Westminster blows construction budget, forced to merge with Lovett

There is no doubt Westminster looks better than ever with its multimillion dollar makeover, including the new football stadium, parking deck, innovation center, and technology-filled Barge Commons, but Westminster’s finances have taken a hit– so much so that the school has decided to merge with the Lovett School to reduce expenditures.

Just when Wildcats thought they could not be more stressed with upcoming AP exams and finals, they received the news that next year will look a lot different. Recently announced in the Weekly Wildcat Updates, all students will soon attend the Lovett School starting August 2022.

In a brief statement posted by Westminster’s school board, “Students will continue their academic studies at the Lovett School,” temporarily leaving campus for a year of enrollment at Lovett.

Beautiful buildings and new facilities aren’t the only results of years of planning and construction on campus. As it turns out, Westminster is struggling to keep up with the costly effects and maintenance of mass construction.

“I knew something was up when the bookstore started charging $3.50 for Muscle Milk,” said sophomore Dwayne Johnson, a member of the wrestling team.

“I love the new construction on campus, but I’m sad that we won’t be able to enjoy it for another year,” said one concerned sophomore. “One of my favorite parts of Westminster culture is our athletic rivalry with Lovett, and the Battle of Buckhead just won’t be the same next year.”

Aside from this semester’s academic stress, many students are worried about the transition next fall.

“The sophomores and juniors have already experienced a lot of hardship throughout high school, so I hope next year won’t be too bad,” said junior Aanya Chaganthi. “COVID has been hard enough on all of us, and this is just another thing we’ll have to worry about.”

With roughly two months of learning left in the semester, faculty are encouraging students not to worry about next year and instead focus on finishing this semester strong. Students are also advised to visit the Well if they are experiencing any anxiety about the transition.

“I know this will be a tough transition for many students, but Westminster is a community filled with strong, resilient young men and women,” said an Upper School teacher. “The change will only be temporary, and soon we will have our wonderful campus back.”

Despite the intense backlash from students and parents, board members are defending the school’s actions and say it is a “responsible budgeting decision.”

“Westminster’s finances are in great hands, and we feel that this change, while abrupt, is the smartest decision we can make at this moment in terms of the school’s future,” said one administrator.

With all the troubles of navigating this change, parents are also outraged at the nearly 50 percent increase in tuition.

“Due to the maintenance of the unused facilities next year, tuition will increase to $51,000,” said Eugene Krabs, a member of the tuition board. “Westminster is implementing additional safety precautions that are also responsible for the rise in tuition, as there will be full-time security staff to keep our campus protected.”

“I know this is not a preferable situation, but it needs to be done from a business standpoint,” said one faculty financial advisor. 

While Westminster’s actions are financially motivated, it is unclear what Lovett’s intentions are with the new merger agreement.

“We want our campus to be a place where students can learn in innovative spaces with many resources at their disposal,” said Andy Angle, the head architect in charge of campus design. “While the cost of construction was more than expected, the school stands by its decisions for the future, even if it means having to momentarily cut back.”

While the decision was only announced to students this week, board members reported the Westminster-Lovett merger has been in the works for quite a while, and the school is putting together a thorough plan to make the transfer as smooth as possible. 

Note: This article, like all of our articles in the April Fool’s edition, is satire. Laugh.