Freshman fears swoop, asks to PDC in eighth grade [Satire]
With freshman PDC right around the corner, the mobs of 9th grade girls rushing to ask cute boys is at an all time high. A freshmen tradition in current times, the PDC askings have been occurring increasing earlier and earlier in relation to the actual dance, and with the dreaded swoop striking fear into the hearts of students everywhere, one girl decided to take fate into her own hands.
“Yep, I asked my date in September of 8th grade,” said freshmen Sharpay Summers. “My sister was swooped her freshmen year by some totally random girl and our whole family mourned for a week, so I decided to be a bit more proactive to avoid the same problems.”
Straying from the average poster or box of homemade cookies, Summers utilized a more unorthodox approach when asking, a practice that is now becoming more popular amongst the underclassmen.
“It’s really quite straightforward, actually,” she said. “I just looked up his address in the directory, had my mom my drive me to his house, broke into his room, and hid there until he came home from soccer practice. Then, I immediately posted the picture on Facebook in my favorite album, which I had very creatively titled “Frosh PDC”, just to be one-hundred percent sure that no one else would try and steal him from me. He’s mine now.”
However, though her plan involved a very personal approach, Summers admits to barely even knowing her future date.
“Of course, I’ve never actually talked to him before.” said Summers “If I had, I would’ve never asked him. That would be way too awkward.
Though Summers’ meticulous method was put into place in order to evade unnecessary drama, her early asking did anything but that.
“It’s simply not fair!” said Summers’ classmate and close friend Gabriella Santos. “I put my name down first on the grade-wide Google Doc, and I had already planned out exactly how I wanted to ask him. She took away three hours of mindless picture-taking and awkward dancing in a tightly packed ballroom, and for that I’ll never forgive her.”
Sharing a similar distaste for such drama is the dance’s director/coordinator, Libba Wight.
“The drama seems to never end when it comes to PDC,” said Wight. “All I ask is that the girls turn their invitations in before the deadline and that seniors don’t crash. Is that too much to ask for?”
Such premature askings have become a staple on campus, but Summers managed to defy all expectations by boldly posing the big question one and half years before PDC actually happens. All that’s left now is to inform her date.
“I don’t know what color her dress is and I have yet to order a corsage, but I’m sure my mom can get that done in no time,” said clueless freshmen boy Troy Davidson. “Also, can someone please teach me how to swing dance?”
